i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
