He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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