my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
