he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
