just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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