I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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