she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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