I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
