Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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