My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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