when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
