you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's blow job season.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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