gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
