i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
