airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My penis needs a shock collar
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
