you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize