First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
