Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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