We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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