Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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