that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
