I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
