so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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