SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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