i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
