Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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