i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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