her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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