Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
