I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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