just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
