I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Randomize
