Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
