You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
