is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
