I skipped work to stalk him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
