Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
