I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
