i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
