elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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