dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
