Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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