$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
