I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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