Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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