Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Who died my cat blue again?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
