What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone signed my nipple.
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