watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
