I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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