Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she pinky promised me she was 18
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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