My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize