i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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