the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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