Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
