On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
