does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
