mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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