We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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