Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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