Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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