planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize