why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
