one might say we're banned from that church
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
