I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
